When Dead is Alive
by Valairy Scot
Summary: A parody in response to the announcement of a certain dead character's return and another person's comment on the consequences of such. Story is tongue-in-cheek and not meant as a literary masterpiece by any means.
1. Chapter 1

**When Dead is Alive, or When Two Become One (Again**)

Obi-Wan's footsteps were slow and unsteady; he looked almost shell-shocked when Anakin ran into him in the hallway. Had the Council sprung a new padawan on him like with Anakin? Nah, nothing like that. He looked – old, almost defeated. Sad.

The poor man clearly needed cheering up; whether it was the war or not, something was taking quite a toll on him. As Anakin's self appointed mission in life was to save everyone, from death, ill humor, even Yoda's ankle whacking, he clearly needed to get to work and wipe the strain off the older man's face. Attack and distract, yeah, that'd work.

"Why so glum, Master?" He did not expect Obi-Wan's sad gaze to get even sadder.

"Don't call me that." Even the command was – a whisper.

"_That."_ What _that_? Searching his memory for an insult, mild or not, intended or not, Anakin decided someone was miscommunicating. "What'd I call you?"

He didn't expect the sigh. The shift of Obi-Wan's eyes. The second sigh. "Master. I'm not, you know."

"They're not rescinding my knighthood are they?" The pretend shock, the wide-eyed stare, the elbow jab into the ribs – all only earned another sigh. A third sigh. A _pained_ sigh. "Hey, you've earned your masterhood for your knowledge of the Force, not for training me to knighthood."

"A lie, all a lie." Obi-Wan gestured with a controlled flap of his hand. The "unflappable Obi-Wan" was flapping his hand - okay, this along with the sighs – _three_ sighs – was a sign of "**serious trouble**."

"The Council found out you faked your knowledge of the Force?"

Ooh, good, that earned the "masterly glare" that he knew from old. The problem was the glare faded. Obi-Wan shifted on his feet and closed his eyes, rocked on his feet, and gazed at his boots with a frown.

"One of my mission reports has been called into question. My rank has been suspended pending an investigation."

"Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi…now that's a name I haven't heard in a long, long time…no?" Anakin stared. He cast about for his tongue and when he found it, managed, "Padawan?"

"Er."

The clipped grunt, the eyes avoiding his - "You've been busted to Padawan? I outrank you?" Slowly, a grin spread across his face. "I'd choose you for my padawan, but I've got Ahsoka. Has Yoda spoken for you?"

A virulent shade of red crept up Obi-Wan's neck. "I don't want to discuss this." He whirled and strode off, leaving Anakin staring after Obi-Wan and scratching his chin.

"Umm, is it April's Fool?"

* * *

><p>"Master – hey, Sky Guy!" Ahsoka slid next to Anakin, meal tray in hand. "Have you heard about Master Obi-Wan – I mean – well, your master, well, I guess he was your master even if he's not a master and oh, I don't know what I should call him, but it's really hard to wrap your mind about – it's just so weird and –I mean I'm not really sure it's true, but what if it is, ooh, it's got to be so hard on him and -"<p>

"Snips, stop. Choose your words, breath at the end of a sentence, and what is the deal with Obi-Wan?"

"Master Obi-Wan, I mean Obi-Wan when he was a padawan and I guess he's one, now, too – okay, Master, I'm breathing, I'm breathing. He was knighted."

Had the wars driven everyone crazy? Anakin crossed his arms and stared crossly at his padawan. "I know he was knighted. On Naboo. For killing Darth Maul - the only padawan to kill a Sith in a thousand years."

"But that's just it, Master." Snips was all but wailing now. "It was all a lie; he was knighted under false pretenses. TCW intelligence says Darth Maul is alive. "


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

Anakin Skywalker was miffed. Pleased. "And confused," he muttered, resting his head in the palm of his hands.

He probably could come up with another twenty words if he tried.

What Jedi knight wasn't pleased when his padawan earned knighthood? Ahsoka Tano, Jedi Knight. Knighted at 16!

"She broke my record." And what did that say about him, the Chosen One, not knighted until into his twenties?

He grinned, sort of. What did that say about his master, not a master nor yet a knight?

Little 'Soka, with a padawan of her own not two minutes after being knighted, breaking Obi-Wan's own – now broken – record.

He should be proud. He was proud. He had a knighted padawan and a grand-padawan – but really, did it have to be Obi-Wan?

Just because Ahsoka did what everyone thought Obi-Wan had done years ago on Naboo – killed a Sith.

The title of Sith-killer now belonged to Snips.

The Chosen One buried his head in his hands and wondered if Snips would take that away from him, too.


End file.
